{"id":311,"date":"2025-08-05T17:23:07","date_gmt":"2025-08-05T17:23:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ai30de.com\/?p=311"},"modified":"2025-08-05T17:41:46","modified_gmt":"2025-08-05T17:41:46","slug":"menstrual-and-mental-health","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ai30de.com\/?p=311","title":{"rendered":"Diagnoses Loop: A Body at War with Itself"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Diagnoses Loop: A Body at War with Itself<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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8 letters. It took 8 letters to define the chaos between menstrual and mental health inside me\u2014PCOS and PTSD.

The year began with vertigo. I woke up to a spinning world, nauseous and crying. Living alone on the third floor of a walk-up in Davao, far from the nearest pharmacy, I blamed it on anemia or low potassium. It lingered for weeks. Only later did I realize: it wasn\u2019t just anemia. It was blood loss\u2014triggered by months of nonstop menstruation.

Still, I brushed it off. I\u2019m not fond of doctors. Knowing what\u2019s wrong makes me spiral, so I preferred the comfort of not knowing. But when the bleeding became unmanageable\u2014when I nearly opted for menstrual pants\u2014I turned to online forums. Most people talked about missed periods, but I found others like me, silently bleeding out.

I self-medicated. It worked\u2014for a week. Then it returned, heavier, crueler. I cried in the bathroom, not from pain but exhaustion. That\u2019s when I finally saw a doctor. I was prescribed inositol to pause the bleeding and prepare for an ultrasound.

The clinic was full of pregnant women. They looked so familiar with the process, while I fumbled through every step. I was alone, confused, and afraid to ask. But I did it. I waited as the doctor scanned the results. \u201cYup, confirmed. PCOS nga,\u201d she said. That was it\u2014the moment my life gained a name for the pain. I had no idea what to ask. I went home and interrogated the internet instead.

According to World Health Organization<\/a>, PCOS doesn\u2019t have a clear cause or cure. Just management. “Lose weight, manage stress,” the doctor said. But that\u2019s the thing\u2014how do you manage stress when PTSD lives in your body rent-free?

I tried to manage the stress\u2014cut ties with what I couldn\u2019t control, breathe through what I couldn\u2019t change. But what happens when the trigger is the home itself? The place that\u2019s supposed to be safe?

So I left. No goodbyes. No explanations. Just a cab heading north and a suitcase packed with guilt. In my new room, I cried quietly, asking myself if I had just made things worse\u2014if walking away made me heartless.

Then came a small window of choice. After paying my bills, I had enough left for one session with a psychologist. It felt unfamiliar and terrifying\u2014but I booked it. Camera off, doors closed. I finally asked questions I couldn\u2019t bring up with family. Questions I had buried for years.

I remember going through the screening questions, a little stunned by how closely they mirrored my own thoughts. It felt like someone had quietly watched me for years and turned my patterns into a checklist. Part of me even thought\u2014I\u2019m nailing this. Like finally, someone understood without me needing to explain.

But when the diagnosis settled in, something inside me cracked. It wasn\u2019t just stress anymore\u2014it was the realization of how long I\u2019d been carrying it, and where it all started. I didn\u2019t want to blame anyone, but the weight of it led me straight to the cravings. I just needed a break from it all, even for a few minutes. I stared at the sweets I knew I shouldn\u2019t have, knowing they\u2019d make my PCOS worse. But that night, I didn\u2019t want discipline. I wanted relief.

So, I let myself have it.

I’m still figuring out how to balance both my menstrual and mental health. I know the journey will be messy\u2014maybe even feel like a loop sometimes. But one thing I\u2019m sure of: choosing myself will always be the right decision. And I can\u2019t go wrong with that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Raw and unedited\u2014 a still frame from a long journey toward healing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\"ai30de\"<\/a><\/div>\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Diagnoses Loop: A Body at War with Itself 8 letters. It took 8 letters to define the chaos between menstrual and mental health inside me\u2014PCOS and PTSD. The year began with vertigo. I woke up to a spinning world, nauseous and crying. Living alone on the third floor of a walk-up in Davao, far from […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":314,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-311","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nDiagnoses Loop: A Body at War with Itself - ai30de<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"A personal journey through PCOS and PTSD\u2014 menstrual and mental health that feed off each other. 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